Thank you mom, Selvi Mani

I had to write. A few months ago, my real mother passed. It was my step-mother that informed around 4 a.m. on a Saturday by calling me. That is not why I'm writing this.

I been alright with my relationship with step mother. I followed her rules but definitely not her dreams. She used to try to fire start me by trying to compare with other Indian kids who were doing well in school. But these Indian kids didn't date and I knew they would just marry another Indian girl that was probably arranged by their parents. I wish she would compare me to other American kids but then it would be excuse for me not to do well.

She did get under my skin until I called her Chris Evert's bitch to her and use to all people who get under my skin. They can explain what this means. I don't even know what it means but it works particularly towards ball busters. Those who are honest about it, they embrace it, love it, and roll with it. I love to be Chris Evert's bitch but I'm too lazy to pick on other softies (sorry, Evonne).

Fact was. We both knew weren't each other's. We tried to be normal because we both didn't want to mess with the man. My father; her husband. Though, I never wanted her to be happy with any success. That is why I never blamed her for my failures except when it came to finding friend and girlfriends during my high school years and college. I thought she treated me like a prisoner. I'm considered a softie who had to get strong but I didn't want to be a Indian for it or bring an Indian to this country. I was happy when she said bad things about me. My biggest fear was that she was going to steer me to an Indian girl if I became a success.

However in the last few years, she has changed as has accepted role as a step-mother to me. She has done well of being honest of her position to other Indians particularly to other Indian women who can be very gossipy and vicious with it. I'm very proud of that. I do call her mom even though many times in arguments, I do want to call her by her name; yet, my soft side doesn't allow it.

I don't know if I really had a mother but if I become a success. You know who I will give the credit too. Selvi Mani.

Laura Branigan's work ethic

There are critics who talk people who did not fulfill their potential and talent. Particular in music when a person has faded into obscurity or has died. One of those is Laura Branigan. Her famous hit song from the movie "Flashdance" Gloria. She had a reputation as a known hell raiser and a lazy artist with talent.

I think that is why I'm endeared to Laura because she was greedy and lazy with sincerity. I wish the producers could see talent and artistry. What, Jim Morrison was a straight shooter. Please! but they worked with him and his abilities. Too many John Densmores and not enough Robbie Kriegers. Her flaw as well as Stevie Nicks is that she should have had a female producer who understood her complexities and idiosyncrasies. I thought Diane Warren writing her songs for and with her were good but you need to produce them as well. Her later album productions seemed out-of-sync.

Most of theses straight shooter females singers slave and whore themselves to the dorky male producers like they come from Adam's rib. Ah. Shania Twain (I know this is mean but I laughed when Mutt left her) even Melissa Etheridge does it too. Then there is was the Quincy Jones product where really the producer worked the singer to bring out her abilities or a total mismatch which results in bad albums. Donna Summer and Quincy? The group Heart after the first few albums is another example.

Take a listen to her version of Gloria. I believe that production of the song cost her the best female vocal performer of the year to Melissa Manchester of 1982 (Quincy looked like he didn't want to give the trophy to Melissa). There were so many dead-spot dubs (like you an audience hears when somebody sings from a tape recorder ). Likewise, the synth intro was sampled from Olivia Newton John's Physical and the bass line sounds like Billy Joel's "My Life." That was first full year of listening to music from late 1982. I thought Melissa's song "You Should see How She Talks About You" had so much momentum and spunk to win it that year. It is just that Laura's song had to age a bit to appreciate it. I remember hearing it then and thought it was another pop synth song as many were then. But now listening to it, Laura's voice really gave that permanent life while Melissa's sounds very dated and nostalgic.

790 AM in Atlanta used to be an oldies station in the 80's. This song would come on during the night when I was trying to sleep to get ready for school. I don't think Laura would be accepted for her artist lifestyle in any time because she was just herself regardless of time. Madonna took a lot of stuff and had a driving agenda to be successful. She was willing to whore up but willing to do her own production as well which to me is the key. Say what you will, Madonna is a producer that is up there with the Joneses, Martins, and Ramones. However for her, the blonde ambition is the key and Laura wasn't willing to do that.